Here’s my first video, hopefully one of many. I need to add clarification. The parable of the wine bottles is a principle in which the old must be completely discarded for the new. I meant to say that Gloria Steinem uses the principle that’s laid out in the parable, not that she’s directly referencing the parable, though she might have been.
So I’ve already written a bit about my own sexual abuse. I’m not going to rehash that here.
I was referred to the Women’s Center at my university, for counseling for sexual abuse. Now I went in to this place having been assured that they do counseling for men. And technically they do.
They follow what they called “feminist counseling” for all their clients. Anyone see red flags yet?
So I walk into this place and see these feminist posters talking about how feminism will heal them. Obviously as a privileged white bisexual male, I can be healed. By the power of denouncing my original sin of patriarchy.
Now I’m really apprehensive, and it took me 10 minutes to get to the point where I could whip up enough courage to talk to the receptionist. The five women in the waiting room looked me up and down, I could feel the daggers. Those are not safe spaces for men. They aren’t. Those women looked at me like I was there stalking someone. What men can’t be sexually abused or assaulted?
Bigots.
So I get up to the receptionist.
Me: Do you have counseling for male abuse victims?
Receptionist: Yes we do! *I feel relieved, she shows me a paper with phone numbers and links* Here is some information on rape services, the number for the police, *flips the paper over* and here’s some information on how to prevent rape.
Me: Ok *very very nervous now*
Receptionist: Do you need us to call the police? *about to start yelling at her*
Me: No.
Receptionist: Do you want to make an appointment?
Me: No, I’ll look this over and get back to you.
I got out of there as quickly as possible. This is the back of the paper they gave me.
This is essentially the only service available for men to get help telling me that I need to carry a rape whistle because I cannot control myself.
Fuck you Women’s Center.
This is what feminism has given us. Men who cannot feel safe in reporting sex crimes, and men who cannot get counseling because women are incapable of being seen as abusive. This is feminism.
I should have known. I really should have. As soon as the sexual behaviors changed from a delightfully engaging, caring, and loving spouse; I should have recognized it as abuse. It took me two years to extrapolate it back. To punish me for getting her pregnant, which was planned, she used withholding, faked vaginismus, blueballed me on purpose, had sex specifically when she didn’t want to to make me feel like a rapist, shamed me for even having a libido, and demanded oral sex while refusing to reciprocate.
I should have left. I didn’t even know I had the option. I was fully prepared to spend the entirety of the rest of my life miserable. That’s regret number one.
Women don’t stop to think how intrinsically tied to a man’s wellbeing sex is. For the next several years she claims she stopped being intentionally abusive. The behavior didn’t change. I don’t believe her. After some time of feeling like a leper, even after my repeatedly stating I wanted an equitable sexual relationship, I started to emotionally attach to other women. I felt more emotionally connected to women I’ld never seen naked than I did my own wife. I got to the point where affection from anyone felt better than anything she was willing to give me. Had I been presented with the opportunity to cheat, I would have.
I fully regret not cheating on her, that’s regret number two. Somehow I felt like cheating in marriage is less disgraceful than the divorce that did eventually happen. So much social conditioning goes into accepting abusive relationships for men. I was shamed into staying, and I’m shamed into not going back.
Number three. I also fully regret feeling like I had to cheat to be happy. Happiness is an entirely internal state of wellbeing. It’s completely independent of the actions of others and entirely dependent on one living their life according to their conscience. I can be happy no matter what, if I’m true to myself.
I’m sick of regret. It consumes me, and I want to be done. This is why I’m speaking out, even if it’s moderately anonymous.
I’m ready to move on, even if it means I must live the rest of my life alone. Robin Williams said “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that you make you feel all alone.”
I will never be a doormat again.
We have a bit of a problem in western society. Sex has become a commodity that seems to be in full supply but comes at a steep price, and I’m not talking about a wedding ring and 50 years of indentured servitude or existential bliss whichever you deem it. We’ll come back to the price later.
Sex has become a weapon.
Now your first inclination is to gravitate to rape, and that indeed is using sex as a weapon. However this is not the only way sex is used as a weapon, regardless of what feminists, pastors, and the media will lead you to believe.
From the first time children are given the birds and the bees talk, sex is taught as being something special you only give up for something in return. But only for girls. We are going to toss the sex before marriage argument aside, because it’s not pertinent to this discussion.
43% of men between 18-22 in college and high school are sexually assaulted. 95% by women. This is an epidemic of epic proportions. Little boys are being taught “don’t rape” and little boys and girls are being taught “boys can’t be raped”. The fact that 60% of boys in the US are circumcised further reinforces the acceptance of sexual abuse as morally justified.
Western society has unleashed a wave of sexual violence and abuse on men. Feminism is leading the charge. These gender bigot ideologues have been teaching these young women that men always want sex. In essence, it’s impossible to rape a man. As Victoria Brownworth a pulitizer prize nominated feminist writer has said “Rape is a crime of male violence”.
So what is feminism teaching women that makes sexual abuse so pervasive?
1. Withholding sex is acceptable because “it’s your body”. When you enter into marriage or a sexual relationship with someone you give up part of your own bodily autonomy for the sake of the needs of someone else. If you are not willing to have robust regular sex and aren’t having robust regular sex with your intimate partner, you are engaging in sexual neglect. Withholding sex in a marriage is an at fault reason for divorce if you can prove it. Cases in Italy and France have resulted in successful lawsuits for this behavior. It is by definition emotional abandonment. If you are in a relationship with someone who treats you like a leper get out.
2. If it’s not intimate, or for you, don’t do it. This is the biggest excuse for starfishing and refusing to have robust sex. No one wants someone who lays there. If your partner needs something you absolutely will not do, you are a sexually selfish individual. You have no right to hold your partner sexually hostage. Now keep in mind here, I’m making the distinction between wants and needs. You should accommodate all their wants that you can. You must provide for their needs. Example. If you as a female have a full hysterectomy and cannot have vaginal sex, you don’t get to say “I don’t do anal or oral sex”. At that point your relationship is done. I’ll say it again and again. You have no right to hold your partner sexually hostage. It doesn’t matter if you don’t find blowjobs or muff diving intimate. It’s not about you. It’s about the needs of your partner. Women expect cunnilingus, but refuse to engage their partner’s needs.
3. Having sex when you really don’t want it to make your partner feel like a rapist is ok. This is illustrated best by Taylor Malone. You can find her disgusting false rape accusation here. This is one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever read on the internet. When you need to say no to an intimate partner, YOU SAY NO. To change the appearance of consent is fraud. It’s sexually abusive, and according to Diana Davison “a form of rape”. This includes situations where fraud is used to gain consent for a sexual encounter. Much like Amanda Holden.
4. Dropping birthcontrol to get pregnant is good relationship insurance. This goes back to using fraud to gain consent for a sexual encounter. This is the best example of feminist pressure to block male contraceptive methods for the express ability to use pregnancy and the birth of a child to secure monetary funds. Efforts to block the male pill and vasalgel have come almost exclusively from feminists. Heaven forbid a man have reproductive control and not father children to deceptive women who are looking for a child support check.
5. Blueballing teaches him his lesson. If you’re not willing to do what it takes to give your partner an orgasm, you’re being a sexually abusive asshole. This is a direct attack to the psyche of a man, and horribly manipulative. It’s one thing to make yourself sexually unavailable, it’s another to make yourself available with the intent to sexually torture your partner. There’s a case where a woman was having sex with a man and as soon as his ejaculatory response hit she withdrew consent in a effort to have him thrown in prison for rape. And feminists threw a fit when it didn’t work.
6. Sex makes a great carrot. If you use sex as a carrot you’re a fucking prostitute. The difference is sex workers have honor. This falls back into withholding sex, this time for money.
This is just a preliminary article, I hope to elucidate more on specifics in later articles so we can come to a knowledge together as both genders of having healthy sexual relationships based on mutual love and trust.
All of these sexually abusive behaviors I have been subjected to in some form or another. I’ve sought support from malesurvivor.org only to be called a rapist and an abuser by feminists for daring to suggest that I deserved in my intimate partner a robust, loving, and equal sexual relationship.
Feminism has sold meaningful sex down the river for cheap imitations and abusive relationships. Most of the victims are men. So much for equality.
To everyone currently in an abusive relationship, you probably don’t realize it’s abusive. You have options. You deserve to be loved. You don’t have to stay. You can get out.
For those of you who need a voice, who need the courage to get out.
reddfields 